Monthly Archives: February 2014

Finally a review of something (fitness related)

I read a fact somewhere saying if you tell someone you’re going to do something, it has the same psychological effects as if you had already done it:

  • Body by Vi challenge
  • Clean eating
  • Spartan beast race

This is just a short list of everything I have told you guys I was going to do, and never actually went through with.
At least now I know why.

For the past six weeks I have been doing the free Ab Workout at least four times per week. (Screenshot below.)


Seeing how I have a reputation of saying I am going to do something and not follow through, I decided the best course of action was to review this app once my findings were done.

I feel so scientific.

The free version has two different routines: the first one is mainly crunches and the second one is focused on core strength. Being in the military (and having to do a minimum of 52 sit-ups within two minutes to pass any physical training test), I really thought I was far more advanced for just five minutes of crunches.

Sometimes ego is a funny thing.

I was surprised at the amount of struggle I endured on a few of the exercises my first few attempts.

Never underestimate the power of a basic crunch. 

I chose to do five minutes each time; however, you can choose for a longer session. Me just being the bare minimum chick, I figured it wouldn’t be realistic for me to choose anything longer than the five minute option. 

There are 10 exercises for 30 seconds each, and each exercise is accompanied with a little video and three-second rest in between. My favorite aspect of this app is I can still listen to my podcast while running it. 

I am going to do something I have never done before. 

I have posted before and after pics…


Ignore what I am doing with my hand in the top right corner.

There’s (admittedly) not too much of a difference. But I want to emphasize, I really haven’t worked out more than once (maybe twice) a week since I started this routine. Nor have I changed my diet – which means cheese and cookies are usually a daily necessity. (Okay, and wine.)

I wanted as little variables as possible to show the full potential of just these five minutes.

I highly recommend this app. Even on my lazy days, I found the energy (in the words of Nike) to “just do it”. It goes by quickly, and you can simultaneously listen to “Jay and Silent Bob Get Old”.

I haven’t even mentioned the best part yet: once your finished, the app gives you a round of applause congratulating you on your hard work. 

I wish everything ended in applause.

Til next time friends!


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Laziness or effectiveness?

I’ve been lazy.

If I were a deadly sin, I’d be sloth. I can admit this. 

I have hardly been working out. Maybe doing some sort of physical activity once a week. On a good week, twice. But today my friends, I have set a new personal record for my three mile run. 

How did I do it you ask? If you read the prior sentences, you will realize it is not because of my dedication to working out; in fact, I think my laziness has helped me with this achievement.

I hate cardio. The entire time I’m doing it, I hate life. I’m cursing every piece of chocolate and cheese I ate that has forced me to do the cardio in the first place. Because I hate cardio, I make sure to get as much out of it in as little time possible.

My go-to-cardio session consist of 15 minutes on the Stairmaster (the mini escalator kind) at difficulty level 15 (the range is 1-20). I do this on the fat burner option. It ranges in intensity ending the last third of the workout at the highest intensity.  

I have been doing this for several months at least once a week.

Because the rest of the country is getting beat up by the polar vortex, I  decided to take advantage of the California sunshine and actually go outside to workout.

The route I go is roughly three miles, and if you can get over the smell of dog shit, it is quite the pleasant jog. I usually can do three miles within 33 minutes. My best time was a little over 29 minutes, and that was when I was training for a half marathon that I never actually ended up doing. 

No surprise there. 

I prefer listening to podcast when I jog. I can’t keep a consistent pace when the Pussycat Dolls catchy rhythm makes me want to run faster. However, today I just wasn’t in the mood for Pete Holmes discussion on sex and religion, so I opted for my impromptu workout playlist (yes that is what it’s called). When Daft Punk came on and made me run faster, Korn, “Freak on a Leash”, followed  to help me bring down my pace and catch my breath. 

What I enjoy most about listening to music on a trail outside (as opposed to the Stairmaster at the gym), is the fact I can shamelessly air guitar knowing I will never see the people around me again.

When I finally had half a mile left, “Can’t Hold Us” by Ryan Lewis and Macklemore came on. If I had to choose a song to pump me up, it would be this one. And it came at the perfect time for me to pick up my pace and sprint (who am I kidding – run slightly faster).

Ladies and gentlemen, thanks to the beautiful California weather, Mr. Lewis and Macklamore, and the lack of dog shit smell, I finished my three miles in…add drumroll… 26 minutes and 41 seconds! 

And I wasn’t even trying.

I don’t think I could of beaten my time if it wasn’t for my regular 15 minute workouts on the Stairmaster. These short intense cardio sessions surprisingly have helped me with my endurance. 

My point is. You don’t have to kill yourself to improve yourself. And while you’re at it, do what I do and say “fuck it”:  I embraced the breeze, sunshine, wiggled my hips to the pops songs, and played air guitar to rock songs. I had fun, and in the end, I beat my very own personal record. 

If you have the chance, let me know what personal fitness achievements you have made.

I think you all are worthy of a good bragging session 😉

Til next time friends!



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Change up the good ole’ gym routine

Because I have been bored with the gym, today I decided to be a bit more creative with my workout and look up ‘how to burlesque dance’. 

This is a bit of a gamble with Google, as you can never be too sure what type of video may pop up. But to my surprise, all were acceptable PG viewing.

The first video I clicked on gave three simple moves inspired by the movie ‘Burlesque’ (see the connection?!). Click here to view the three minute video.

The ladies teaching the moves were peppy. I didn’t feel as if they were trying to intimadate me with their sexiness, but instead invite me to join their sexiness. Their easy to-do moves boosted my confidence and gave me the motivation to try another video.

The next instructional I chose began with a girl in the middle of a mirrored studio dancing to generic porn music. It was unclear if I was supposed to follow her or wait for instructions on how to do the moves.

About a minute (too long) into the video she finally narrates the routine. Her first instruction was “Turn your hips left and your shoulders right”.

What does that even mean?!

 I can’t tell you what I did, but it sure as hell wasn’t what “girl in the middle of the mirrored studio dancing to generic porn music” was doing.

So I opted to just move my hips and keep the shoulders parked while maintaing a sexy look on my face.

 It is then when I start to feel silly.

Mind you, dancing porn-music girl is wearing shorts and a sports bra, and I’m in my gray Army sweatpants and my Bocce ball team t-shirt.

I do not recommend wearing frumpy clothes while trying to look (or feel) sexy. Let’s just say I’m happy I was in the privacy of my own home while attempting these moves in this video.

The moves weren’t necessarily difficult, but I somehow over thought what I was supposed to be doing. Suddenly my shoulders don’t know how to move because my hips are moving? I can walk, run, do the twist, but I can’t move my shoulders left when my hips are to the right? 

I blame it on the porn-music girl: she did not invite me to join her sexiness. 

After the hip movement, I then was instructed to raise my hand above my shoulder. Raise my hand above my shoulder in a sexy motion.

I don’t know how many of you have raised your hand above your shoulder and maintained sex appeal, but doing this while wearing baggy sweatpants (and a t-shirt that says “let’s roll”) makes it incredibly difficult to raise your hand above your shoulder in a sexy manner. The entire time I’m doing these moves, I’m looking in the mirror, and can only see the growing disappointment in my own face. 

Then comes time for a hair flip. The most basic move of them all. I recommend not even trying if you already feel ridiculous at this point, because the strain in my face when flipping my hair up was probably the most discouraging part of the entire routine.

I managed to not only bruise my ego within the first three minutes of the video, but also give myself whiplash. 


So that’s a post.

Til next time friends!

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