I’ve been lazy.
If I were a deadly sin, I’d be sloth. I can admit this.
I have hardly been working out. Maybe doing some sort of physical activity once a week. On a good week, twice. But today my friends, I have set a new personal record for my three mile run.
How did I do it you ask? If you read the prior sentences, you will realize it is not because of my dedication to working out; in fact, I think my laziness has helped me with this achievement.
I hate cardio. The entire time I’m doing it, I hate life. I’m cursing every piece of chocolate and cheese I ate that has forced me to do the cardio in the first place. Because I hate cardio, I make sure to get as much out of it in as little time possible.
My go-to-cardio session consist of 15 minutes on the Stairmaster (the mini escalator kind) at difficulty level 15 (the range is 1-20). I do this on the fat burner option. It ranges in intensity ending the last third of the workout at the highest intensity.
I have been doing this for several months at least once a week.
Because the rest of the country is getting beat up by the polar vortex, I decided to take advantage of the California sunshine and actually go outside to workout.
The route I go is roughly three miles, and if you can get over the smell of dog shit, it is quite the pleasant jog. I usually can do three miles within 33 minutes. My best time was a little over 29 minutes, and that was when I was training for a half marathon that I never actually ended up doing.
No surprise there.
I prefer listening to podcast when I jog. I can’t keep a consistent pace when the Pussycat Dolls catchy rhythm makes me want to run faster. However, today I just wasn’t in the mood for Pete Holmes discussion on sex and religion, so I opted for my impromptu workout playlist (yes that is what it’s called). When Daft Punk came on and made me run faster, Korn, “Freak on a Leash”, followed to help me bring down my pace and catch my breath.
What I enjoy most about listening to music on a trail outside (as opposed to the Stairmaster at the gym), is the fact I can shamelessly air guitar knowing I will never see the people around me again.
When I finally had half a mile left, “Can’t Hold Us” by Ryan Lewis and Macklemore came on. If I had to choose a song to pump me up, it would be this one. And it came at the perfect time for me to pick up my pace and sprint (who am I kidding – run slightly faster).
Ladies and gentlemen, thanks to the beautiful California weather, Mr. Lewis and Macklamore, and the lack of dog shit smell, I finished my three miles in…add drumroll… 26 minutes and 41 seconds!
And I wasn’t even trying.
I don’t think I could of beaten my time if it wasn’t for my regular 15 minute workouts on the Stairmaster. These short intense cardio sessions surprisingly have helped me with my endurance.
My point is. You don’t have to kill yourself to improve yourself. And while you’re at it, do what I do and say “fuck it”: I embraced the breeze, sunshine, wiggled my hips to the pops songs, and played air guitar to rock songs. I had fun, and in the end, I beat my very own personal record.
If you have the chance, let me know what personal fitness achievements you have made.
I think you all are worthy of a good bragging session 😉
Til next time friends!