This is going to be a bit of an out of the ordinary post as I sit at a bar at SFO drinking a wine flight alone.
I have to admit, I do feel silly drinking a flight by myself. Its presentation is big and the flavors within the white wines are even bigger.
I just made myself laugh. I have no idea what I’m talking about.
I’m such a product of my generation that I find it difficult to express myself without emojis or hashtags.
Did I never mention I was a communication major?
So I’m finally going to see Austin. I literally lived 45 minutes away when stationed in San Antonio, but now I’m taking a three hour flight to visit.
I’ve alluded to life changes a lot, but I may as well just say it: I’m going through a divorce.
It was my choice and for some reason people assume it’s been easy since I made that choice.
It’s not. But I’m really good at smiling and avoiding the depths of the conversations revolved around it.
The fact is, I don’t know who I am. And I couldn’t commit myself to someone going through this identity crisis. It wasn’t fair to him.
The reason I’m sharing this is because this blog really has evolved from a workout blog to a declaration of self-love.
Unfortunately, by the end of my marriage, I was becoming someone I didn’t like. And my husband got the collateral damage of my inner struggle.
But now I’m on a mission. It’s not just about “looking good”. But I want to feel good. My mind, body, and soul. And I want to share it with others because what got me (and gets) me through this divorce is knowing I’m not alone. Knowing others have felt the same way, and I’m not a terrible person for making this extremely difficult choice.
The seasons change has been unexpectedly the most difficult, because I just want to go home – to a home that no longer exists.
So that’s why I’m going to Austin finally. It was a place I always wanted to see. I’m tired of making excuses, I’m trying to just do. Say yes to more things. I think this is equally important as a fit body and essential to a healthy lifestyle.
And a happy life.
Just say yes and drop the excuses.
Sometimes I do question if I made the right decision, but in the end I have to find myself and improve myself before I can commit myself.
It may just be a short flight to Austin, but it’s the beginning of self discovery for me.
Love yourself. Not just the cellulite, chub, or whatever imperfections you find in those amazing, one of a kind thighs, but the entirety of you.
Til next time friends!