Tag Archives: cats

The final weigh in

On Friday I fell asleep while eating a cookie.

Not my proudest moment. Although, in my defense, not my worst.

So that was the beginning of the end for my three-week weight loss challenge.

Today was final weigh in, and I had not made any real attempt to lose weight or even workout.

I think I averaged one workout a week.

One being a deceivingly difficult trampoline class.

You don’t jump up; instead you push down.

What does that even mean?!

And how did someone manage to take the fun out of jumping on trampolines?!

To recap: I had three weeks to lose 10 pounds. I invested $40. If I succeeded, I got double my investment back. If I failed, I lost everything (except for the weight).

Three weeks ago I weighed in at 145.

Today ladies and gentlemen….

Drumroll. ..

Mas drumroll…

Drumroll is not nearly as effective on paper…

139!

That was my weight today. I don’t know if I prefaced that properly.

In the end I didn’t get $80 or even my initial $40 back, but I did get four dollars per pound lost. Which means I only lost $16.

It is probably for the best, because I’ve wanted this cat clock for awhile and it happens to cost as much as the competition.

It’s stupid. I don’t need it, and I have absolutely no good place for it.

So really, I saved $16.

Welp, that’s a wrap on my latest fitness endeavour.

I’ll keep you posted on my holiday weight fluctuations so y’all know you’re not alone.

Til next time!

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Lose ten pounds in three weeks!

Welcome to thirty folks!

I’m still just as unmotivated and disappointingly short.

I really thought I would be taller by now.

Scroll down and you’ll see the prior year of half-ass commitments I applied myself to.

Since I’m a fan of excuses, the reason I have been uninvolved is because I am actually happy.

I may have addressed this topic in a prior post, but in the good fashion of being lazy,  I’ll just re-address it instead of clicking out of this window to view another window, to see if I have already mentioned this topic.

Talk about grammatical errors in that sentence above! I’m too tired to go back and edit, so please give me a pass on this one.

I  was really diligent about posting in this thing a few years ago. It was my way of escaping and safely entering a world where I could be myself.

I only added “safely” because it’s nearly 10pm and I have used all my clever adjectives for my copywriting gig earlier.

But over the past year, I haven’t yearned for that escape like I did two years ago.

Hindsight – it was depression.

But now I’ve entered the lovely world of social anxiety and overthinking every goddamn thing.

I actually hesitated writing “goddamn” because I didn’t want to offend anyone.

I don’t know where this liberal overly PC girl came from, but she is exhausting.

Actually, I have a hypothesis…

I’ve been working in front of a computer too damn long! I forgot how to socially interact with people.

So I’ve decided to take the plunge and teach Spin.

(Like how I brought in the theme of the blog finally?)

It wasn’t so much a plunge as it was a halfass, two sentence inquiry to a craigslist ad.

Luckily for me, a brand new gym is opening, and they need to staff from the ground up.

So it’s by default I got the gig.

But it really reinforces my mantra of “why try hard?”

Which brings me back to our theme of the blog.

(Not really, I just got bored of writing what I litterally just wrote and decided to skip the topic altogether.)

My work is doing a weight-loss challenge. For camaraderie sake I want to participate.

The challenge is to put in $40 and lose 10 pounds in three weeks. If I lose the 10 pounds, I get $80 back!

For you non-maths out there, that’s double my investment.

If I do not lose 10 pounds, I lose my $40. That is opposite of investment.

(Of course my first thought was how can I cheat this?)

Because my laziness outweighs my frugalness (see DietBet post – then immediately notice the non follow-up DiteBet post after) the money motivation isn’t a guarantee I’ll follow through.

So I thought real hard and realized the last time I attempted a “diet” was when I posted on this thing religiously.

Hence this post 🙂

Weigh in is tomorrow. I figured I would update my three-week adventure daily to try and stay motivated.

Hopefully you all can keep me accountable. All you diligent followers you (add winky face).

It’s late and the cat is needing attention – for the record a literal cat – I’m out.

Til tomorrow with weigh-in updates.

…we’ll see if it happens.

Night!

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I am determined to look good in Yoga pants

The big perk of avoiding the gym after the new year, and working out at home, is not having to worry about the inevitable camel toe. 

I literally have gone to the gym twice in two weeks. For those of you quick with math: yes; that’s an average of once per week.

24 Hour Fitness is already a packed gym, especially the one near my hometown. And if I opt to go to the one near my work, then I risk being surrounded by a lot of guys with spiky hair. I’m not saying spiky hair is a bad thing. I’m just saying it’s a bit douchebaggy.

My new plan for the new year is to find workouts online and do them at home. I can then save the whopping 25 dollars a month I spend on the gym. This can now go to my tattoo fund I’ve been trying to work on for the past five years. (My new years resolution should probably be related to managing money better.)

Below is a screenshot of a workout my cousin posted on facebook:

Image

 

Being the half-ass achiever that I am, I of course did this the minimum amount of times required. 

It still took me 45 minutes.

I don’t have a step, so I opted to do 30 sit-ups with a 10 pound medicine ball in place of the 30 step ups. I also replaced the burpees with my beloved bomb-diver push ups (check out my prior post for technique). If you really want to add danger to this workout, I recommend having a seven-pound house cat with you in the room trying to attack you when lying on the floor or in push up position. 

After the first set, I took the duration of the song “Inside Out” by Eve 6 to stretch. This is a good strategy to avoid injury, as well as, the insanity you risk for committing to such a routine.

If you are a beginner, I would recommend cutting the reps in half, if not to a quarter. According to my Sergeant in physical therapy school, I have thunder thighs, so a workout like this should be easy for someone like me. Which it wasn’t, and my thunder thighs feel more like a kittens meow. 

They’re weak. Yeah I agree, that was a terrible attempt at an analogy. 

If you have any recommended at-home workouts, please let me know. I need to continue to save up for at least a tattoo cover up. That I will explain later.

Until next time friends!

 

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